About Me

My Journey

Are you feeling itchy now? To be honest, I am habitually scratching my body while writing this. Indeed, it is itchy, unpleasant and embarrassing. Although my eczema has subsided for some time after a series of treatments and preventions, there is still a possibility that it will flare again. Unfortunately, I have to live with it for the rest of my life. I am one of the 20% of patients worldwide who succumbs to atopic dermatitis. Most of the atopic eczema conditions improve by the time children reach adolescence. Unluckily, I did not outgrow it. My eczema persists into my adulthood and it still flares periodically. I am 25 years old. Feeling disconcerted and self-conscious of my skin condition, it is difficult for me meeting friends.  Controlling eczema from spreading and deteriorating is tough and tiring as well.  

When I was in primary school, I was just like others with smooth healthy skin, and was active and energetic. No sign of eczema or any skin disorder appeared until the year I entered secondary school, Form 1. Out of the blue, my inner side of my elbow and knee started to get itchy uncontrollably. The moment I rubbed those affected parts, small prickly red bumps appeared. They were so irritating that I kept rubbing and pinching them. The small bumps turned reddish and were spreading to back of my hands and fingers. The more I rubbed them, the itchier they were, creating red patches. I strived hard to cover those parts by wearing long sleeves and bending my arms to avoid people seeing those rashes. The affected parts became very dry after a few weeks later and they looked pale and wrinkly. Eventually, my parents brought me to consult the skin specialist and I was diagnosed to suffer from atopic eczema. In fact, a few of my close relatives have allergies, rhinitis and asthma. Atopic eczema falls into the same category as the aforementioned allergic conditions. I was then given a bunch of creams and some antihistamines. Essentially, creams and antihistamines are the only two things that a doctor will normally prescribe to an eczema patient. Atopic eczema is not curable. Creams and antihistamines are remedies to temporarily suppress eczema flare-up. With those medicines, after a few months, my rashes subsided and my dry skin condition returned to normal. During eczema flare-up, I was struggling to control itching and to have good sleeps; I missed swimming classes, reduced outdoor activities, wrapped affected parts with cloths to prevent me from scratching during sleep at night, prayed hard to God for speedy recovery and endeavored to concentrate in my studies. 

My skin rashes and itching disappeared for a few years. Nonetheless, from the time I graduated from high school to my first university year of study, my eczema did flare but they were mild and stayed just for a few days to a week or so. In 2008, I started my degree study in New Zealand and my eczema flared badly. Dry skin and continuous itching persisted throughout my four-year study there. The two main reasons it flared so easily and persisted for so long over there were dry weather and high-stress lifestyle. These two reasons were the killer to my sensitive skin. Christchurch is the driest city in New Zealand and it was where I pursued my engineering degree study. Rain was rare in Christchurch and the lack of moisture had made my skin even drier and flaky, increasing the tendency to scratch. Moisturizing became part of daily routine. I applied thick layers of moisturizer in the morning and at night before sleep. However, it became worse when I entered second year of study whereby my skin became so sensitive that I would scratch them during sleep every day. Rashes enveloped my whole body with some even oozing and weeping as a result of excessive scratching. Itching was intense, especially at night which led to insomnia. Coupled with my stressful engineering assignments and projects, my eczema got worse. I would have my hands scratching almost every part of my body trying to figure out solutions to my engineering problems. Itching has tremendously distracted my attention to concentrate in my studies. I would try to avoid siting at my desk too long doing assignments, watching movies or even playing games. Instead, I would force myself to have a walk outside the house and engage in chitchat with my neighbors and friends or even stroll in shopping malls. Involving in social activities would be the only way to make me more conscious of my scratching act and would deter me from touching my skin. In winter, as weather turned dry and cold, moisturizing alone would not help reduce my scratching. As the cold weather set in, my skin was chapped and dehydrated. I had to take a few antihistamines every night to stop me from scratching unconsciously during sleep. The chilly weather has forced me to be in bed most of the time with thick blanket covered in the hope of getting sweat. Sweating is uncomfortable but it would slightly help my skin stay hydrated in addition to the creams applied. Without the creams, when the sweat dried and evaporated, the skin would be even drier. I would take non-drowsy ones in the morning while drowsy ones before sleep. Over the winter months, my skin had become so flaky, crusty and scaly. My skin condition has demotivated me to meet friends and attend any public event. I would limit my outdoor sport activities to prevent me from being too exhausted, further aggravating my condition. I used steam humidifier to keep my room damped but the uncontrollable steam temperature and humidity had made me feel suffocating. Every night, I listened to some soothing music, particularly New Age and Ambient music which helped manage my stress and promote relaxation. Guidance and advice from parents, doctor and close friends were building my courage to face my skin condition.

 Feeling pain was the only way stopping me from scratching affected part.  The affected parts of my skin (waist area, neck, face, inner side of elbow and knee and back) would recover slowly and the skin started to peel excessively. My bed, chair and sofa were filled with my dead peeled skin. Worse, the dead skin became the source of food for my new enemy – dust mites. Recently, I had a blood allergy test indicating that my IgE level to dust mite allergens is so high that it surpasses the upper test limit. I never knew that for four years during my study there whereby dust mites (particularly their eggs) were the ones inducing my itch and triggering my non-stop scratching during sleep every day. I went to see the GP and skin specialist almost every few months in New Zealand whenever I had a flare-up. Steroids, antihistamines and aqueous / fatty creams were the medicines I had been using to treat my eczema flare-up. 

I came back to Malaysia after my university graduation last year and my skin has just returned to normal recently. I was recommended by an allergy specialist to do immunotherapy to combat dust mite allergy for three years. However, I stopped doing it as it was expensive and I did not see any significant improvement after nine months of therapy. My skin recovers fast under Malaysia damp tropical environment. My skin is moist and hydrated naturally. Also, I try reducing my stress level and apply moisturizer every day after shower and before sleep. Now, my skin has turned healthy and itching has stopped for a few months already. However, my skin is now a little thinner and more sensitive due to topical steroid application for the past few years. I have reduced the dependency of taking antihistamines as well. However, extreme sweating and unnecessary high stress will still lead to continuous scratching but I have formulated a series of ways to control itching and to prevent any flare-up in future. My skin now is moist and smooth. I am back to my daily routine with daily precautions and practices to take care of my sensitive skin.